What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

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Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

What do you call a black person who smokes?

An e-cigger. I'm going to hell for thinking of this.

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Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

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What doctors shop at Barnes and Noble?

Doctors without Borders. Credit to Max Scoville.

Where do fashionable kids with cancer like to shop for clothes?

Never 21