Amazon Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

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What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?

You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

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What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon?

A Brazillionaire!

Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ?

Amazon of a gun !

What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

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What foreplay does the praying mantis girlfriend enjoys ?

Being given head.

What does a redneck say for foreplay?

Brace yourself, Linda-Lou"

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What kind of coffee do the Islamists hate the most ?

French press

Why do spiders hate Area 51?

It's a no-fly zone.

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How long does it take to sail from Dorne to Mereen?

It Varys.

Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

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What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea?

I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.

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What song do turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?

God save the kin Happy Thanksgiving!

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey"

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Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy?

Security at Samsung.

What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....

How can you tell if you bought lube from Tumblr?

Because it Lubri-Can't Even!

Steak Jokes More Steak Jokes

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper?

I find your lack of steak disturbing."