Amazon Jokes

Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime?

They get free two-day shipping.

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What is the best food to order from Amazon?

Prime Rib

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Why does Barbie hate Amazon?

because they're always putting sales out on ken-dolls.

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River?

The Amazon River actually has sails.

What's the worst cut of steak?

Amazon Prime.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?

You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.

Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon?

Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt...

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What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon?

A Brazillionaire!

Who's there ! Amazon ! Amazon who ?

Amazon of a gun !

What did Descartes say while shopping online?

I think therefore I Amazon

What do mathematicians use to get fast delivery?

Amazon'

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How does a dog catcher gets paid?

by the pound.

How do aliens pay for their coffees?

With Starbucks!

Derivative Jokes More Derivative Jokes

What is the first derivative of a cow?

A prime rib.

Whats the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime.

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

Hobbitat for Humanity

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey?

AIDS for humanity

Samsung Jokes More Samsung Jokes

What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

What's the difference between a moan and a scream?

About 3 inches

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why did the cellist have to sell his instrument?

He was baroque.

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did the religious person give up smoking?

Because God hates fags.

Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.