Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

What's the difference between officer Darren Wilson and Michael Brown?

Officer Wilson can dodge a bullet

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

How do I stay in shape?

I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it