What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What's the difference between an onion and a woman?

I cry when I cut open an onion

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What is the punishment for bigamy?

Two wives.

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?

The rest are hunting peckers.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call it when you said a redneck on fire?

A firecracker

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why does the graveyard have fences?

Because people were dying to get in!

What did the blonde medical student die from?

An aneurysm.

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy?

They wanted to give credit where credit was due.

What do you call a nut that can't talk?

Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.

Anakin Skywalker Jokes More Anakin Skywalker Jokes