What did the Alligator say to the turtle?

Can I bayou a drink?

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do Communists drink herbal tea?

Because proper-tea is theft.

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

What did the snail on the turtles back say?

WEEEEEEEEEE!

Alligator Jokes More Alligator Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

What do you call an alligator that always starts fights?

An instigator!