What did the atheist say when he saw Jesus?

I can't believe this. What did he tell his atheist friend? You won't believe this.

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How can you tell someone is a true music lover?

A: When they even put their ear up to the bathroom keyhole.

How do you know you are sitting next to a ski instructor?

They'll tell you.

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What kind of exercise did Jesus do?

Crossfit

Why didn't Jesus' business break even?

It wasn't making enough prophet

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Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

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What does the atheist say when he arrives at the Pearly Gates?

I'll be goddamned.

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape so Christians can't claim God did it.