What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.

What did the cactus say to his wife?

Aloe Vera!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs?

He was delighted.

What Did Kid Davis Say To The Lesbian Melons?

you cantaloupe. i just thought of this. probably not the first person to, but i certainly didn't steal it.

Birthday Jokes More Birthday Jokes

What does a racist get for their birthday?

KK-cake

What is one thing you always get on your birthday?

Older

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"