Burglar Jokes

Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call a government consisted of burglars?

A thiefdom.

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?

Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?

Robbery with violets !

Who else would've stolen it?

You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?

A stole.

Who could that be?

It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...

What's the difference between a burger and a burglar?

Cooking times.

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Who's there ! Burglar ! Burglar who ?

Burglars don't knock !

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

Which burgers are dishonest?

Cat-burgers! (burglars)

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around?

He was running a trap house.

Why did the burglar take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway

How did the burglar get into the house?

Intruder window

Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?

To prove that he was framed!