Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?

A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Spock dump his wife?

because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

What would the name on the cat's bowl be?

It would be 'Bowl' and all of your friends would leave you because you are an idiot and named your cat Bowl.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats eazy e's favourite drink ?

Kool aids

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

House Jokes More House Jokes

What is a homeless man's favorite type of music?

House music

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?

Just a phew!

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

How to stop an unwanted DM. Hi, how are you?

Me: Well, my ex has me on a wanted list because I'm a psychotic cow, how are you

What do Marylanders call their ex-girlfriends?

Old Bay.

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

What do you call a government consisted of burglars?

A thiefdom.

Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around?

He was running a trap house.