Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife?

At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.

What's the difference between a bumble bee and someone with allergies?

One is a pollinator. The other is a pollen-hater.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do all 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys receive before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a Doctors Without Borders hospital and ISIS?

How would I know, Im just a US Air Force Operator.

Whats a Joke with no Punchline?

Life

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him?

Get off me, homes"

What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon?

A Warehouse.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What did the mole hill say to the mountain?

I see my ex came by."

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

Burglar Jokes More Burglar Jokes

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !