What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

Just wait and they'll tell you.

What do you tell a cow blocking a road?

Mooove

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Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

How about a guillotine?

Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.

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He was too far out maaaaan.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?

Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)

What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.