Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

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How can you tell if a hippy came to your house?

He's still there.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-nile.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro?

because the owner will tell you

How can you tell baseball players are smarter than football players?

When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Clean Finger Jokes More Clean Finger Jokes

How can you tell that the hippie kid got laid?

Two clean fingers.

How can you tell a mechanic got laid?

He has one clean finger

Raft Jokes More Raft Jokes

What do you call a raft full of black people?

Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies.

What do you call 10 Ethiopians tied together?

A raft

Lifeguard Jokes More Lifeguard Jokes

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Boot Jokes More Boot Jokes

How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the best/worst dirty joke you know?

In honor of the recent joke trends I ask you what is the dirtiest joke you know?

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did Snake walk into the bar?

Because he wears an eyepatch and has poor depth perception.

What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?

A wash and wear wolf