Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How can you tell if a hippy came to your house?

He's still there.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that you're too old?

When the priest doesn't look at you anymore.

What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a millennial and a gun?

A gun only has one trigger.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

Mississippi Jokes More Mississippi Jokes

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many college guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they prefer Natural Light

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but they'd have to be really small.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

She was wearing mittens

How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.