What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin?

She swallowed the yellow prick's load.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

How do you save a drowning mouse ?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What's the difference between a pontiff's chin and the kitchen sink?

One's covered in soap bubbles, while the other's covered in Pope stubbles.

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?

Jail break.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when... ...you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot?

Nut and bolt

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Who is it?

Police: Police. Me:What do u want Police: To talk. Me: How many r u Police: 2 Me: Talk to each other.

How would u like that prepared?

ME: um medium well W: very good Me: oh god what have I just done

Dead Bird Jokes More Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

Whiskey Jokes More Whiskey Jokes

What's the difference between an Irishman and a bottle of whiskey?

The whiskey usually doesn't get drunk until it's at least ten years old.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

Tub Jokes More Tub Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.