Dead Bird Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

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What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.

What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak?

A dead bird

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying

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How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb?

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Why do politicians take laxatives?

So they can speak more fluently

Why Couldn't Anyone Understand The Mute Mathematician's?

They didn't speak sine language.

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What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

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How did the blonde break her leg from raking the leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

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What was the last thing Robin Williams said to his wife?

You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while.

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South?

Nothing, someone's losing the trailer. -Robin Williams

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?

It bucked!

What's the difference between "like", "love" and "showing off"?

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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

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What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

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Why did the pirate with the eye patch drown?

Because he had no depth perception.

Why do hunters close one eye before shooting?

Because if they close the other, they can't see!