What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

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Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What did the squirrel say when he fell out of the tree and broke his leg?

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because if they did they would be Bagels

What wobbles as it flies?

A: A jelly-copter.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a three-legged donkey?

A wonkey. What do you call a three-legged donkey with one eye? A winky-wonkey.

How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian?

It rhymes when they say. "Keep at eye out for a coyote."

Dead Bird Jokes More Dead Bird Jokes

What do you call a dead bird that was suicidal?

A Robin Williams.

What did u do last night?

Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows Me covering tub of dead birds: is that the saying