Boot Jokes

What did the shoemaker say about actor Christopher's custom-made footwear?

These Boots Are Made For Walken.....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ?

He took too long to put his boots on !

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?

Because he liked sole music!

How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome?

That was a cloche call!"

Where's Frank?

Got adopted 3 weeks ago. Gone soft too. Healthcare plan. Hypoallergenic blanket. Goes by Mr. Boots now."

What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?

Puss in boots !

What did the boots say to the cowboy?

You ride -- I'll go on foot.

What are the best clothes to wear to the dance club?

Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants...

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How do you see that a linedancer came from Belgium and not from the Netherlands?

He wears the cardboard box on his boots.

Why don't bears wear boots?

Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet.

Why did the dog wear white sneakers ?

Because his boots were at the menders !

Why did the skinhead have Velcro on his boots?

He was a lacist.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?

To hide his nuts!!

Why did the scale not wear any of his shirts?

Because they all had a tare

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Black Person Jokes More Black Person Jokes

What is faster than a black person with your TV ?

His brother with your DVD player.

How do you know if a black person used your TV?

It's not there anymore.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

How do those even fit in your pants?

He replied "They fit like a glove."

What did the shoes say to the pants?

What up, britches?

End Jokes More End Jokes

How do all races end in the desert?

In a cacti!

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?

If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What screams, wails, and lights up?

A bus-load of babies on fire.

How do blind doctors deliver babies?

With a can't c-section.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?

It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.

What do you call a black man in a stunt plane?

The brown streak.