Lifeguard Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?

Dos

What do blondes and computer have in common?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you. edit: computers

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Who is consistently the best pro sports team to watch in Minnesota?

The visitors.

What sport do Japanese people watch?

Desuball

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth?

When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.

How do you weigh a whale?

On Whale Weigh Scales.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do 12 year old mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

Why do Russians have so many bear fighting stories?

Because their liquor is strong and their women are hairy.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!! :D

Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge?

Ghouldilocks.

Lake Jokes More Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Hippy Jokes More Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?

Their trunks.

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Black people can't swim. -.-