Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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Where did that offensive joke post go?

I'm pretty sure I saved it to make reference to eventually and now I cannot find it. There was some gold in there.

What's the only thing that could have saved George Michael?

A whambulance

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Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

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How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.