Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

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What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?

He was far out man. --

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags.

How can you tell a hippie's been in your house?

He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

How do you make the hippie run out of money?

You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap.

What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party?

Namaste.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hippies don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in tents.

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What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

What's dumber than a box of rocks?

The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Put it under the soap.

What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house?

He's still there.

What do you call a hippie with a business major?

A Hippie-crite.

How do you know if a hippie was at your house?

He's still there.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Why aren't hippies good pitchers?

Because they're always high and outside.

Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo?

It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree.

Why do hippies wear pachouli??

So blind people can hate them to

How do you know you let a hippie stay at your house?

He's still there.

How many hippies does it take to change a light bulb?

Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.

Why did god invent patchouli?

So blind people can hate hippies too.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

How do you know if hippies have been in your house?

They are still there.

Why do hippies like corduroy?

Because the material is so groovy.

What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?

Namaste

What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?

Nah, I'm-a stay.

What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?

Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)

Why do hippies wear patchouli?

So blind people can hate them, too.

Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?

Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss

What dance do hippies hate?

A square dance.

What career choice to hippies usually pick?

Chemistry, because there is lots of acid involved.

Why do hippies like to swim way offshore?

Cause it's far out, man

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Why do hippies wear corduroy?

It's groovy!

What do you get when you mix a hippie and a yellow?

Mello Yellow

Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?

He was way to high, man.

What do you call a hippie that can't cook?

Burning ham!

What do a redneck and hippie have in common?

They both hate the government.

Whats the difference between a hippie on fire and a lifetime supply of patchouli?

I don't wish for a lifetime supply every time I smell patchouli.

What's the difference between a hippie and a geologist?

Not much. One likes getting stones, the other likes getting stoned.

What did the Hippie say to the invisible elephant?

Hey dude, you're outta sight!

What did the hippie say about all of the math problems?

They're all, like, equal to me...

Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator?

He liked cold cash.

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

What does the hippie say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste (better to say it aloud)

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

What would my hippie side be doing right now?

I already know that

What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch?

Namaste

Why did the hippie drown in the ocean?

He was too far out.

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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