He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
Hello, how am I " "You're fine, how am I "
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
They want to.
4: McDonalds The end
5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.
Hippies can't change anything. And they smell bad.
He's still there when you get home. What's he say when you tell him to leave? "Na, 'ma stay"
Because he'd never have been able to find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "
Cos 720 is 1
1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.
Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.
A Black Adder
A stable economy...
They both can't even.
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Swallow a speaker playing "Remember the Name"
Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush
1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout
