Mississippi Jokes

What's the best part of living in Alabama?

You don't live in Mississippi.

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How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi so wide?

Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse.

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands?

A dope ring.

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

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What is the worst way to spell Mississippi?

Correctly.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

What do you get if you flip a Mississippi family's photo album backwards?

An episode of The Biggest Loser

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4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What rock group has 4 dudes that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 4 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

2 Mississippi Jokes More 2 Mississippi Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

Toothbrush Jokes More Toothbrush Jokes

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in the South?

Because if it were invented in the North, it'd be called the teethbrush!

What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?

You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

Louisiana Jokes More Louisiana Jokes

How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?

One Mississippi.

What is it about tall creepy louisiana swamp dwellers that makes them naturally glow?

Their bayou loomin' essence

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

gets arrested*

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What did number 2 say to number 1?

you're an odd fellow

Why are urologists selfish?

Because they're all about number one

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

How do farmers count their cattle?

With a culator

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ?

With their eyes shut !