What did the music thief do in college?

Take notes.

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What did the mama buffalo say to her son when he left for college?

Bison"

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

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Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

Why don't southern belles go to orgies any more?

Too many thank you notes to write