What did the physicist say to the depressed hippy?

There's no such thing as negative energy"

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is your January report card so bad ?

Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy?

There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What did the physicists say when he accidentally broke his resistor?

my ghosh

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.