What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.

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Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

How can you tell when Ron Jeremy is finished pumping gas?

He pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car!

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How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey?

With his Shtick.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

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Why is it bad that Peyton Manning shilled for Budweiser?

Because he clearly owed the win to Miller.

What did Peyton Manning said to his younger brother about the new NFL rule?

ELI5 (explain me like I am five)

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

Why didn't the cops ever charge Abraham Lincoln?

Because he was always in a cent.

What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.