What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.