Slit Jokes

What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

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What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What do you call an atheist in a six foot pine box?

All dressed up, with no place to go.

Why do cowboys have foreskin?

So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the frog say when he walked into the bar?

Bonjour.*

Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Which woman has Jesus as a nephew?

The Auntie Christ.

What do you call a woman with an opinion?

Wrong.

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Who was that lady I saw you with last night?

The Canadian says "That was my wife."

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why did the scientist study soda?

Because he was a physicist.

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

Emos Jokes More Emos Jokes

What do Emos and automatic lights have in common?

They'll both off themselves eventually.

What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive?

Trying to get out of his grave.

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.