What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What, really?

I said. "Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"

Why did Cruz pick Carly Fiorina as his running mate?

To lay off his campaign staff.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They can't, it'd be much too cramped. How would they even get in there in the first place?

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

I'm in light urn.'

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What's the difference between an alcoholic and a necrophiliac?

One goes to the bar for a cold one. The other goes to a morgue.

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

How many physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two! one to change the light bulb and the other to rotate the universe!

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!