What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

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Why are the police so corrupt?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

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What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs