Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

Why are birds always sad in the morning?

Their bills are over dew

Why did the bird go to the restaurant?

Tweet!

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What type of carpet do you put in an igloo?

Burr-burr

What is a snowman's favorite kind of carpet?

BRRR BRRR

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?

amaized.

Why does pokemon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

How much does a pirate pay for an ear piercing?

A buck an ear

Why is it better to date a woman with heavy thighs during the winter?

Your ears stay warmer.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?

One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.

What's the difference between Polio and 9/11?

The government actually wanted to stop Polio.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?

You hear about them but never see them