What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read?

Anything you want!

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What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

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Why were the proctologist's emails so hard to read?

Too many colons.

How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

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What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.