What do you call a dissection performed by drunks?

An Autipsy.

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Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

What did the veterinarian performing canine reproductive surgery say to the veterinarian with over productive saliva disorder?

Spay it don't spray it.

Drunk Jokes More Drunk Jokes

What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives right through a stop sign, a stoner waits for it to turn green.

What are you gonna be for halloween?

Me: Drunk!