What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much?

A functioning alcoholic.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What's the difference between a lesbian and a straight girl?

Four drinks.

Where does a Martian go for a drink?

A Mars Bar

Function Jokes More Function Jokes

Why can't you differentiate liberal arts majors?

They have no function.

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.

Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.