What do you call an old person trying to fit in with today's kids?

A dislocated hipster.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

What do you call the largest number of grizzlies you can fit in a car?

The bear maximum

Old Person Jokes More Old Person Jokes

What's a VCR?

My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones.

How can you tell an old person from a young person?

An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.