What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

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Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

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How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/

Why didn't Jesus have any children?

He only got nailed by guys )

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What's an old woman taste like?

Depends ...

What has 90 balls and screws old women?

Bingo!