How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

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How do you know?

My phone is turned off.

How are PCs different from woman?

I know how to turn a PC on.

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What's better than winning gold in the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs...... I know, I know, I'm going to hell

Where do frogs keep their treasure ?

In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !

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What did the author say when he added a chapter about flour to a story about soup?

The plot thickens!

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

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Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup .

What sort of soup do skeletons like?

One with plenty of body in it.