Old Woman Jokes

Why did the doctor make an old woman cry?

He lost his patients

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What has 90 balls and screws old women?

Bingo!

Why do old men need Viagra?

Because they are screwing old women!

This joke may have profanity.

How does a young man make an old woman feel young again?

Elixir

What's an old woman taste like?

Depends ...

Why don't old men like old women?

Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich

What do older women wear?

Depends

How do you get fifty old women to say f**k?

Shout "Bingo!"

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Because she wanted to rock and roll.

What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What do wives and shingles have in common?

if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

How the hell did you get a body like that?

he asked. "Thanks," I said, "That's very flattering." He said, "Not really mate."

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's the difference between a pair of shoes and a ginger girl?

You try your best to keep your shoes from getting wet when you go to town.

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo

Navel Jokes More Navel Jokes

What's between an old woman's breasts that's not between a young woman's breasts?

a navel..

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?

A: Her navel.

80 Year Old Woman Jokes More 80 Year Old Woman Jokes

What does a 80 year old women taste like?

Depends..

How do you get an 80 year old woman to say f***?

Have another 80 year old woman yell "bingo!"

40 Year Old Jokes More 40 Year Old Jokes

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?

The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

How are women like 90 degrees?

They're always right.