Why do old men need Viagra?

Because they are screwing old women!

This joke may have profanity.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but you have to get them in there first.

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer lol

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What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

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What was the old man in despair about?

Nothing.

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

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How do you get fifty old women to say f**k?

Shout "Bingo!"

What has 90 balls and screws old women?

Bingo!