What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation

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How do you make Polish sausage ?

First you gotta find a retarded pig...

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

What does Team Rocket and a Peeping tom have in common?

They are both always trying to get a Pikachu.

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What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.