What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders

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What would you call the mailman if he got fired?

I don't know, just some dude.

What do you call a fire on the beach?

Bernie Sanders

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What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper?

Nothing. He just grit his teeth.