What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders

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Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

He drove people bananas!

Why was a missile looking for a job?

Because it got fired!

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What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

Why won't the holocaust survivor vote for Bernie Sanders?

He doesn't want to feel the Bern.

Sandpaper Jokes More Sandpaper Jokes

What did the dog say after it slid across some sandpaper?

Ruff.

What does a blind person say when you give them sandpaper?

Well that's really tiny writing!"