What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things?

They have bad mammaries.

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off things?

Rick O'Shea

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally