What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why sugars are very unhappy these days?

It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.