Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What drug does the lord use to get work done?

God speed.

What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online?

Papal

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

Sarcasm Jokes More Sarcasm Jokes

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"