Sarcasm Jokes

Who else have gone through this Sarcasm?

Me: Baby, I was thinking about you so sending you She: Thanks for Thinking

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Why do thieves have such a hard time understanding sarcasm?

They take things literally

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why do beaches not get sarcasm?

Because they always take things littorally

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

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Asperger Jokes More Asperger Jokes

What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom?

They take an aspie

What's the difference between sarcasm and a serious statement?

What're you asking me for I have Asperger's.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you get when you combine an elephant and a poodle?

A dead poodle, split in half.

What would Paul McCartney say after losing both his legs?

Suddenly....I'm not half the man I used to be....."

Thief Jokes More Thief Jokes

How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs?

He was delighted.

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did nobody in the Orlando nightclub fight back?

They weren't thinking straight.

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What's the difference between a white guy and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't shoot up a school.

What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing you hear before a pubic hair falls to the ground?

spits*

How do cats buy things?

A: From a cat-alogue!

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach?

Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.

What did Zach De La Rocha bring home from the beach?

A pocket full of shells.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.