What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

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What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?

An octopuss !

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How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH

How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?

30 because that's peasants work.