What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you do if you lose all the information on your computer?

Ask the NSA for a backup.

How do you know you're in a modern art museum?

If you need to ask if the bench is an art piece.

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What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

What do you call a bunch of liberals protesting the second amendment?

Triggered

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What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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What did the proctologist say to the pirate?

Show me your booty.

What did Sting say to his proctologist?

Don't stand so close to me.