What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when Cinderella got to the ball?

She choked.

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

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What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

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Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Star Jokes More Star Jokes

Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime?

He wanted to have some stage presents.

When I look up at the majesty of all them stars it really gets me to thinkin, when we gonna get that ding dong roof patched up!?

Ah horse apples!

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How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

Why are hurricanes always named after white people?

Because white people destroy everything.

Cosmo Jokes More Cosmo Jokes

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

What was Carl Sagan's favorite drink?

Cosmos.