How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

What happened when pigs started flying?

Everyone got swine flu

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?

With an electorate blanket.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did Russia close all of its airports?

The planes were stalin.

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the man say to the priest at the beach?

Do you mind getting out of my son.

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?

It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did E.T.'s mother say when E.T. got home?

Where on Earth have you been??!!" **Thank you, I'll be here all night... Edit: Thanks for da love Dr. Jones!

What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts