What do you have to know to be an auctioneer?

Lots

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What do you get if you cross goat DNA with human DNA?

I don't know, ask the Arabs!

Why don't Pokemon cards ever have any typos?

Because the editors know that they gotta catch 'em all!

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What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!