What do you have to know to be an auctioneer?

Lots

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How can you tell ignorance from indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?

Not Mariah Carey

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Why shouldn't you bowl against a snake?

Because snakes make lots of strikes.

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?

A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.