What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, I already told her twice.

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How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 or 2 ? 1... or 2...

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

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Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

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What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, I already told her twice.