What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib?

A: A snowmobile!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the left leg say to the right leg?

A: That one in the middle thinks he's hard.

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.