What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium! I'll see myself out now...

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What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

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What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element?

XeNON.

What are the four elements?

Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.

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What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium! I'll see myself out now...

What do the Post Office and a shoe store have in common?

Thousands of brown loafers