What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe?

Vault Disney

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What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

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What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood?

Pilot season

What is grey and hairy and lives on a man's face?

A mousetache.